Getting Started

As I finish up school, and move through the corporate realm, a couple of things have hit me pretty hard:

• Consumerism - there's always something new, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't buy into a lot of it (literally and figuratively).
• Tied to consumerism, appearances - everything is a status symbol, whether intentional or not. I spend a lot of my time evaluating how I stack up against my peers, from haircuts to socks to water bottles to hobbies. This is the norm with the age of social media, but it's equally frustrating in real life.
• Doing - I spend most of my days doing things - doing meetings, doing coaching, doing homework, doing cleaning - but the most challenging part is how much of what I do doesn't make me feel like I've made an impact.
• Feeling world-sick - as I've gotten older, I've become a homebody (in part because of my belongings), and it makes it hard to feel motivated to get up and go. My vacations consist of just "being", rather than having new experiences or going new places, and while it's nice, it isn't rejuvenating or inspiring in the same way.
• Convenience - this is a big one, because it's been the most annoying thing in the world to me recently. I own a car. I hate my car. I spend so much money on maintaining my car. I would love to take transit, and I've been experimenting with it - I'm fortunate that I can catch free school shuttles that cover about half the distance from my home to my office, but the remaining half (twice a day) costs a total of about $33 to lyft (at which point it's roughly equal to owning a car, and then I can stop places if needed). The bus would be a perfect alternative, but my office is in the suburbs and the bus doesn't run as late as I need it to, and even if it did, three different sources give three different routes, so finding my way home mostly consists of guessing and some walking. This would be fine...except for the opportunity cost. I can work on a bus, but what takes normally half an hour to get home, turns into a three hour wandering.

It all drains a person, which makes it even harder to break the cycle. As such, some of my big goals to get out of that cycle (along with some key steps) include:

• Get out on my bike more
• Moving closer to the office (which takes away the "local" benefits of where I live now, but would reduce my rent bill temporarily as I move back home for a couple months to knock down some debt and find a suitable place)
• Building the motivation to just do it
• Take more pictures
• Carrying camera with me to take advantage of opportunities
• Doing more exciting things worth taking pictures of
• Making my camera setup usable
• Get outside in general (camping, hiking, fishing, kayaking, adventuring)
• Remembering the happiness this usually brings; the hard part isn't doing it, it's getting up the motivation to get out there in the first place
• No more credit card usage (and paying off what I have)
• Mindfully tracking expenses and sitting with thoughts before making purchases
• Cutting up the cards
• Thinking over and being more intentional with my purchases
• Sitting with thoughts before making purchases
• Do I need it?
• Do I have something else that already accomplishes what this would?
• Does it get me closer to one of my goals?
• Is it multipurpose?
• Is it sourced responsibly or sustainable?
• Living more sustainably (which I used to be really good at, but god, I am lazy these days)
• Making sure none of my purchases are one-time use
• Sourced responsibly and sustainable
• No impulse purchases 
• Spending my time more wisely (similar to spending my dollars more wisely)
• Improving time management (coincidentally, this is also one of my professional development goals this year as well)
• Prioritizing tasks and sticking to a schedule/list
• Ultimately, getting away from the rat race, at least for a bit, to go on a lifetime adventure. 
• Planning - where, how, when?

One of my more significant issues is that I don't have anyone who can really hold me accountable for these goals, both because there's a sense of shame and stigma surrounding finances (it's easy for me to think "I'm making too much money to be this broke", but that doesn't change the fact that I am actually broke), and because I've had a hard time making friendships and relationships a priority while dealing with everything else. 

So instead of putting a person in that position, I'm going to use this as a space for me to work out my money-trouble, documenting my journey through downsizing, and hold myself accountable as I prepare for whatever journey is in-store.